Suck it Martha Saturday: Shortbread edition

I am testing the mobile blogger function, so I hope this post formats OK!
This week's Suck It Martha recipe harkens back to last weekend. Last Sunday, of course, was Easter. Rather than handing out yet more chocolate, I decided to make shortbread cookies for my inlaws.
Shortbread is another baked good that is utterly uninspiring to look at, but that tastes freaking amazing. And it is so ridiculously easy to make, you literally do not need a recipe. Here's how it works: Cream together 1 part sugar and 2 parts butter. Mix in 4 parts flour. (ie for every cup of sugar, use 2 cups of butter and 4 of flour.) Form into cookies of any shape, about 1/2 inch thick. Bake at standard temp - 350F - until golden brown and delicious, which will be about 15-25 minutes depending on size.
I love these cookies for so many reasons. First, delicious. Second, 3 ingredients that I always have on hand. Third, using proportions instead of measurements means it's easy to scale to however much I want to make. I can make myself a snack, or I can make a giant batch of Christmas cookies. Fourth, if I have any extract on hand they are easy to flavor - I like vanilla, almond, and lemon shortbread. Fifth, um, delicious!

Suck It Martha Saturday: Sweet, Sweet Carbs Edition

I'm back! It has been an absolutely crazy last few weeks, but I am so glad to finally get back to couponing, and this blog, again. Would you believe me if I told you that I haven't even made any drugstore shopping trips in the last few weeks? I'm in withdrawl! I hope you all kept clipping and saving while I was away.

And what better way to celebrate my return than with another epic Suck It Martha Saturday? The school where I now work does a fairly regular potluck staff breakfast. This being my first since I started, I wanted to impress. I was originally signed up to bring muffins - scoff! I'll see your muffins, and I will raise you a scrumptious raisin scone:

They were a big hit, I think because, like bagels, they're chock full of delicious carbs and yet not overly sweet. I happened to have raisins on hand from making Irish soda bread a few weeks ago, but what I love about scones is that you can put just about any fruits, nuts, or chips in them.

My next attempt, sadly, suffered from a mechanical failure. I wanted to make a pain au chocolat - bread and chocolate. And I just happened to have seen this recipe for Yeasted Chocolate Coffee Cake from - guess who! - Martha Stewart herself. Now I've made pain au chocolat before, but I wasn't 100% happy with the recipe I'd used, so I figured I'd give Martha's a try.

The good news was, the bread tasted amazing. So freakishly good that just thinking about it is making me drool right now. The chocolate-to-bread ratio is almost absurdly high, so every bite is buttery and chocolatey, wrapped in a bare cocoon of gluten. The bad news was, all that chocolate wreaks havoc on the structural integrity of the bread. As soon as I tried to slice it, the whole thing dissolved into a shower of crumbs. I was able to salvage a few decent pieces that could pass for half-slices, but most of the loaf ended up crumbled into a ziploc bag. Where, don't get me wrong, it is still being devoured by yours truly, but I would rather have had my coworkers bowing down and worshipping it.


Here's what it was supposed to look like...



And here's how it actually came out.

 The lessons I take away from this? 1) Next time (and oh yes, there will be a next time), I will either make this as mini-loaves, muffins, or in roll form, like cinnamon rolls but with chocolate. 2) This is not the first time I've been disappointed by Martha's actual recipes. Her stuff always looks amazing, but in reality they're only so-so. I'm sticking to Allrecipes.com from now on.

In other news, travelers, Big Y is having a Buy 1 Get 2 Free sale this week, so I will try to jump back into things with your coupon matchups by this afternoon!

Suck It, Martha Sunday - Pi edition

So on top of everything, Suck It Martha, Saturday is being brought to you on Sunday this week. But I just couldn't wait until next week to show you the pie I made to bring in to work tomorrow for Pi Day (3.14 - get it?)

Mmm, apple pie. This one is made with a brown sugar syrup that you pour over the apples and the crust - it gives the crust a fantastic candy coating and the filling is all gooey. Even my husband, who does not have a sweet tooth, loves this pie.

Suck It, Martha Saturday - Harmonious edition

This week's Suck It, Martha moment came courtesy of the lovely ladies of Harmonious Soul, a women's a capella group that was silly enough to allow me to join them last December. Each week one of us is responsible for bringing a snack to rehearsal, so this week I decided on my mom's recipe for Cream Cheese Nut Bars. (This particular example was made without nuts, in deference to possible unknown allergies.) I know it doesn't look like much, but anyone who has ever tried these can tell you, they are fan-freaking-tastic.

They are also ridiculously easy to make. My mom used to make them for Christmas all the time. I took over Christmas cookie duty several years ago, and I think these are the only cookies that I can say I have made every single year since then - they are that easy, and that popular.

Mom S's Cream Cheese Nut Bars (liberally adapted by yours truly)
1 box cake mix
3/4 cup butter, melted
1 cup walnuts, divided
1 cup brown sugar
16 oz cream cheese, softened

• Preheat oven to 350F. Grease and flour (or line with parchment) a 13x9 pan. Or two 8x8 pans. Whatever.
• Chop 1/2 cup of the nuts fairly small. (Use a food processor.) Combine with the cake mix and the butter. (You can use the food processor for this too and save yourself washing another bowl.) Press firmly into the bottom of the prepared pan.
• Cream together the brown sugar and the cream cheese. Don't just stir them together - you've really got to beat them until they're almost whipped. (Insert husband joke here.) Spread over the cake mixture in the pan.
• Roughly chop the remaining 1/2 cup of walnuts. Sprinkle evenly over the cream cheese. Or don't. Your call.
• Bake for 30 minutes. Turn the heat off, crack the oven door, and allow to cool in the oven. Refrigerate until completely cool (or at Christmastime, set out on the back porch) before attempting to cut. A pizza cutter works best.
• Get out of the way before the ravening hordes tear your fingers off.

The best thing about this recipe, besides it's utter simplicity, is that it is quite adaptable. For example, the original called for golden cake mix, but as you can see in the picture, chocolate cake works deliciously too. Last Christmas I drizzled maple syrup over the bars as soon as they were done baking before putting them back in the warm oven. You can use any type of nuts you like in place of the walnuts - pecans would be lovely, or hazelnuts.

And finally, I'm aware that some of you may be saying, "Hey, this is the second week in a row where you've featured chocolate and cream cheese." To which I reply, Yeah, what's your point?

Suck It, Martha: Valentine's Edition

For Valentine's Day, my husband wanted oatmeal cookies. So I made him these - and they were fantastic. But as delicious as they were, there is just no way to photograph oatmeal cookies that makes them look appetizing, sorry.

Luckily there was still my treat to myself - Cheesecake brownies! Because I love me.



Valentine's Cheesecake Brownies

Introducing Suck It Martha Saturdays

You know how some blogs have theme days, like Foodie Tuesdays, Wordless Wednesdays, or Freebie Fridays? Well, I've decided to start a new one here that has nothing to do with coupons: Suck It, Martha Saturdays. Those of you who know me know that I love to bake. Here is where I will brag about my domestic divahood.

This first installment comes courtesy of my friend Nicole's son's first birthday party.

Those are chocolate mini cupcakes with my secret frosting recipe (OK, it's 3/4 buttercream and 1/4 cream cheese) and sprinkles. The sprinkles made quite a satisfying mess when the birthday boy smooshed his cupcake in his face. (Incidentally, I drew all those treble clefs freehand. Good to know that old music theory class was good for something!)